I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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