apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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