so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
