Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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