If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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