I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
