So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
pray to the hookup gods
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
