I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
