doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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