i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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