im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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