ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
