So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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