I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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