My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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