omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize