I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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