Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
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