I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
