Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
