I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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