pop tarts are not kleenex
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
