What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
