Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He told me they were just razor bumps!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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