After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize