If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
