I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
