ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
