the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
