hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize