It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
