Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
