I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
