Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
