I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
