I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
