she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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