I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
