There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
