I hope mine doesn't look like that
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
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dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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