Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
