i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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