i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
