You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
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Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
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I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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