we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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