i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
