we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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