So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
