I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
