Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
