i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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