So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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