Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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