I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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