dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
