I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I wish there were birth control emojis
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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