I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
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Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
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I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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