I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
