you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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