I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves