Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.

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(616): View more from Michigan

You are an asshole

(574): View more from Indiana

haha sleeping beauty awakes.

(616): View more from Michigan

Where did you find this costume?

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(416): View more from Toronto

he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(404): View more from Georgia

I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.

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(212): View more from New York

He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library

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(586): View more from Michigan

dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"

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(253): View more from Washington

Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.

(206): View more from Washington

WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???

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