They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.