No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
