not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
