I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize